Nancy & Danny
Nancy is Brad's only child from his first marriage. Nancy's mother is Korean and her mom and divorced not too long after Brad was discharged from the army. He and his ex-wife had agreed to shared custody where Nancy would spend a year with each parent. When Brad had Nancy with him for the first year he had already moved back to Hayward, which was rather nice because Nancy was able to spend time with her paternal grandparents. Two years later when it would have been his turn again, Nancy was old enough to have made friends so Brad let her decide if she wanted to return to Hayward for the year or stay in Texas. Nancy opted to stay with her mother and the next time Brad saw her was when she was 12 and came to spend the Christmas holiday with her dad and his second wife. That was the last time Brad saw Nancy.
Brad made numerous efforts to talk to Nancy including calling and sending letters, cards and gifts. He never received an acknowledgement for any of the cards and gifts and every phone call was thwarted by Nancy's mom until, finally, the only phone number he had was disconnected with no forwarding. The last time he tried was when we were planning our wedding and couldn't contact her. We sent her an invitation to the only address that Brad had. It was never returned or acknowledged and I believe now that Nancy never saw it. That was in 2000. Then in 2005 I received an email…
The email went like this: “My name is Nancy Harvey. I happen to come upom your web site when I was searching for Brad Dean Feuerhelm on Yahoo. In your site […] you have a page titled 'Index of Names' in which you list a Brad Dean Feuerhelm with a date of birth of September 23, […]. I believe that is my father. Do you have any other information for him? Please e-mail back. Thank you!” Of course I responded and after exchanging a few emails, I told Brad and forwarded all the emails (to and from both Nancy and me) so he could read through them. Then he and Nancy began corresponding directly.
In 2006, when we were traveling cross-country to our new home, we included a visit with Nancy and her family in our itinerary. We only had four days to spend with them and I think the hardest thing Brad had to do was say good-bye. But this last Thanksgiving he was able to go to Texas and spend 10 days with Nancy and Danny and the two boys. I am honored and pleased beyond words that she calls me "Mom." She is now truly one of our mixed family. When Becky found out about our contact, she emailed Nancy herself and now they are very good friends for which I am also grateful.